Bismillahi al-Rahman al-Raheem

"They will say there in their mutual bickerings:
'By Allah, we were truly in an error manifest,
'When we held you as equals with the Lord of the Worlds;
'And our seducers were only those who were steeped in guilt.
'Now, then, we have none to intercede (for us),
'Nor a single friend to feel (for us).
'Now if we only had a chance of return we shall truly be of those who believe!'"


Assalam Alaykum Dear Brothers and Sisters.

Today's daily reflection will be based on the topic of friendship/friends, and I would like to begin with reflecting upon the above verses of the Quran al-Kareem from Surah Ash-Shu'araa, 96-102.

Humans are social beings, and it is natural for us to regularly interact with people who we feel comfortable with. So we make friends through growing up at school, colleges, unis, work places, mosque, communities and even on the internet. The general conception of friendship is: someone you can rely on, someone who sticks by you, someone to turn to when you have problems, someone who you turn to for advice and so on.

The society which we live in has a a certain concept and there are some general criterias. So a group of co-workers go to the pub on friday nights, class fellows do coursework together, school friends go to library or cinemas together and basically relationships are formed based on common interest. Often, these friendships are based on using and abusing friends, making them pay for dinner, getting them to do your coursework because these friendships are for the sake of the interest/benefit involved. However, when the common interest is not there anymore these friendships eventually break due to lack of values attached.

Islam as a complete and comprehensive way of life has a view on Friendship. Islam recognises that a Muslim will naturally spend more time with certain people and be more comfortable with them in raising their personal problems and issues. This does not mean in any way that the rest of the Muslims are not their brothers and sisters whom they love, rather all that it means that they will be closer to certain people than others just as people are usually closer to their family than others.

Islam also recognises that friends have a strong influence on people and that their environment will affect the strength of their relationship with Ta'ala. The Prophet (saw) said:

“A person follows the Deen (way of life) of his close friend; therefore let each of you look carefully at whom he chooses for friends.” [Tirmidhi]

We should choose friends that will advise us and remind us of Allah Ta'ala, rather than lure us to the path of Shaytan. It has also been narrated that our friends in the Dunya (world) will be our friends in the Akhira (afterlife). It is therefore vital for us to choose good friends.

The love between two friends is such that they would confide in each other, help each other in times of need and strengthen each other’s commitment to the Deen of Allah Ta'ala. The Prophet (saw) encouraged for Muslims who have love for each other NOT to keep it to themselves.

“If one of you loves his brother for Allah’s sake, then let him tell him since it causes familiarity to endure and firmly establishes love.”

Abu Huraira narrated that the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said,
“You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to something which if you carry out you will love one another. Spread as-Salaam amongst yourselves.” [Muslim]

Friendship in Islam is NOT based on using each other; on the contrary, helping each other to stay away from the Haram is fundamental to it. How could someone watch his brother burn without doing anything to save him? A person who did that would be ones worst enemy rather than a friend. Therefore Muslims always warn and advise each other. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:

"Each of you is the mirror of his brother, so if he sees any fault in him he should wipe it away from him." [Tirmidhi]

This means, the purpose of confiding secrets to each other wouldn't be as in the Western values where people confide their secrets to feel good knowing that they will not be a comeback. Rather in Islam we confide our secrets to our friends to seek their sincere advice and help. So our friends should be those who we can feel comfortable in confiding and seeking advice on the most intimate affair, such as marital problems or financial problems having the certainty that they will give us good Islamic advice and not discuss our affairs with others unnecessarly because they understand it is haram to do so (backbiting).

Friendship has rules in Islam unlike in the West - to visit them especially when they are ill, to inquire about their family, feeding them when they are hungry, attending to their needs, keeping their private affairs to yourself and sharing your wealth with them without hesitation.

So Islam defines friendship for us and encourages us to make friends with those who will remind us of Allah Tala and keep us away from disobedience to Allah Tala. So we should choose the best of the people to be our friends, just like Prophet (saw) chose Sayeduna Abu Bakr (ra) and Umar ibn al-Khattab (ra).

Islam teaches us to form relationships for the sake of Allah Ta'ala and not common interest (Maslaha). This means our friends should be those who we love for the sake of Allah Tala. We should not put ourselves in a postion where our friends only call us when they want to do coursework or when they need our help. Our friends should not be those who call us because they want to go cinema, rather our freinds should be those who call us to spend spare time reading Quran. We should select our friends to be those who give us good Islamic advice, they invite us to attend Islamic talks, those we can learn from and those who would tell us to 'stop backbiting' when we get carried away.

The Prophet (saw) demonstrated for us excellent examples. He (saw) once entered a thicket with one of his companions and gathered two toothpicks, one of them crooked and the other straight. He gave the straight one to his companion, who said, “O Messenger of Allah, you are more entitled to the straight one than I!” The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) replied, “When a friend accompanies a friend, if only for one hour of the day, he will be asked to account for his companionship, whether he fulfilled his duty to Allah therein or whether he neglected it”. [Ihya Uloom ad Deen]

On another occasion the Messenger of Allah (saw) went out to a well in order to wash. Hudhayfa ibn al-Yaman took a robe and stood screening the Prophet (saw) whilst he washed. Then Hudhayfa (ra) sat down to wash himself and Muhammad (saw) took the robe and screened Hudhayfa (ra) from view. Hudhayfa objected saying, “My father be your ransom, and my mother too! O Messenger of Allah, do not do it!” Yet he (saw) insisted on holding the robe and said, “Each time two people are in company together, the dearer to Allah is he who is kinder to his companion”. [Ihya Uloom ad Deen]

Giving of gifts has also been recommended by the Prophet (saw) and he explained that it creates love between people.

It was reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adaabul-Mufrad (no. 594) that Rasool-Allah (saw) said:

“Give gifts and you will love one another”.

Kindness to our friends, helping them in need and consoling them in times of grief should become natural to us for everyone needs help, a shoulder to cry on and someone to share their joy.

Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra) said, "Pay attention to your brothers for they are your provision in this life and in the hereafter. Do you not listen to the cry of the people of the fire?

In conclusion, we should ensure that the company we keep helps us in remembering Allah Azz wa jal, and strengthens our commitment to Islam.

Prophet Muhammad (saws) said: “The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows.. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.”

Sayeduna Umar bin Al-Khattab (ra) said, "Encountering your brothers lifts all grief. If Allah blesses you with good relations with another Muslim, hold fast to it".

if I said good its from Allah Azz wa jal and if I made a mistake its my mistake.

Wa aalykum assalam

your brother in Islam. Al-Bukhari and Muslim